Im messed up because I don't know weather to join the Army or not?

Seriously. Its all I can think of. Im Irish, I would love to join the Army but the thing is that I don't know which one. Either one of these 2 but both have their pros and cons : The irish army is so freaking complicated to join, I think you have to do some sort of freaking competition to get in, or the English army with its vast weapon selection and action full life style. The sense of Patriotism compels me to join the Irish Army but the use of interesting weapons and combat brings me to the English Army side. What I am to do? Im 17 ,got a crappy bar job, that I cant concentrate on because Im wondering if the SA80 could knock the pint out of the hand of the guy who's sitting on the other side of the room.